Last November I entered a playwriting contest in Louisville, I’d almost forgotten about it but I got something in the mail today saying they’d received the play and were reading mine (along with everyone else that entered) twice. I’d be notified if I’d been chosen as a finalist sometime this summer, which means I’ll more than likely forget about it again. If I am lucky enough to become a finalist the winner will be announced in 2010. They sure do take their sweet ass time in Kentucky.
Anyways in a completely unrelated note I’ve come to the sad realization that I totally love that Britney Spears song “Womanizer”. Something about it just really works for me and it’s been stuck in my head for a couple of days now. Also school’s started again but I’ll talk more about that later. The Super Bowl’s tomorrow and I’ve decided that even though I don’t care either way which team wins I will be rooting for the Cardinals. I also may be working through the game. I’m more disappointed about possibly missing Springsting and the commercials than I am the actual game. Ok bedtime.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Color Me Racist
I went to go see the movie Gran Torino yesterday and it was great. Much funnier than the ads have been selling it, although there’s plenty of drama in it as well. At dinner my mom asked me what it was about and I explained it was about how Clint Eastwood plays a lifelong racist who becomes close with the Hmong family that moves in next door to him.
“Speaking of racist what did you think of that speaker at the inauguration yesterday?” she asked me? I wasn’t quite sure what she was referring to seeing as I watched the entire inauguration and didn’t notice anything particularly offensive, with the possible exception of Aretha Franklin’s hat. What was that thing? She then explained the thing she was referring to was Reverend Joseph Lowery’s prayer he gave, specifically the colors rhyme he did at the end. She couldn’t believe he’d say something like that in this day and age. Here it is.
You see my mom heard about this and why it was so offensive when she was listening to Charlie Sykes on her way to work that morning. And he was shocked, SHOCKED, that such a speech would be made in this day and age. He thought this speech was “straight from the way back machine”. I listened to this segment of his show on his website and it appears there were four things about the prayer that offended Sykes and his listeners.
Then there’s the whole “it was racist, he said red man and yellow” argument. Flippant yes, but he was hardly being racist. It would have been one thing if he started going off about “the gooks” or “the feather heads” or something like that. But to me, what he was really talking about was that he hopes people of all colors (and yes we do have different colored skin, it’s ok to say out loud) will work together and put our differences behind us. It wasn’t hate speech and if it was I think it was the most adorable hate speech I’ve ever heard and that the Klan really need to get a new P.R. person. That might be a little difficult because I’m pretty sure the Klan hates Jews as much as black people.
Finally it seemed like the two lines that really got under Charlie Sykes skin were “we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back” and “when white will embrace what is right.”
“Did anybody point out to the Reverend Joseph Lowery ‘um would you turn around here? The President of the United States is black…Hello we’re kind of here.’” Mr. Sykes asked his audience. “No one else has to do what’s right? Just white has to do what’s right. Really?”
I think I can respond to those to statements two ways. Firstly, the idea that now that Obama is president racism is over and everything is right in the world is both a gross oversimplification of race relations and completely stupid. We’re no way near the end racism. Any race. The fact that an African-American was elected president is a big deal and a great sign of the progress we’ve made in what is a relatively short period of time. But it’s going to be years, I’m talking centuries and generations before everyone is really on an equal playing field. It’s human nature to classify things and notice differences. And we’re probably going to keep doing this until we’re in the Gene Roddenberry days of Star Trek where we’re exploring other planets and meeting other species. Who we’re probably going to be racist towards. Speciest? Like I said, it’s human nature.
And finally, and I specifically left this point for last, it’s a rhyme. He was doing a little poem and I don’t mean to insult but this is elementary school, Dr. Seuss level material. Reverend Joseph Lowery wanted “white to embrace what is right” because it rhymed. He wasn’t calling out for the white man to get his shit together, he was being cute. I think, there’s a possibly, that Charlie Sykes wasn’t so mad at what was said at the inauguration but at who was being inaugurated. And no, I don’t think he dislikes Obama because he’s black. He doesn’t like him because he’s a liberal, which is fine. Disliking a person because of their political views as supposed to the color of their skin is actually exactly what Dr. King was preaching about all those years ago. So color me racist, but I’ve got to agree with the rest of “the liberals” who thought it was the best part of the entire inauguration.
“Speaking of racist what did you think of that speaker at the inauguration yesterday?” she asked me? I wasn’t quite sure what she was referring to seeing as I watched the entire inauguration and didn’t notice anything particularly offensive, with the possible exception of Aretha Franklin’s hat. What was that thing? She then explained the thing she was referring to was Reverend Joseph Lowery’s prayer he gave, specifically the colors rhyme he did at the end. She couldn’t believe he’d say something like that in this day and age. Here it is.
You see my mom heard about this and why it was so offensive when she was listening to Charlie Sykes on her way to work that morning. And he was shocked, SHOCKED, that such a speech would be made in this day and age. He thought this speech was “straight from the way back machine”. I listened to this segment of his show on his website and it appears there were four things about the prayer that offended Sykes and his listeners.
- He considered the speech racist. He felt that using the words "yellow" and "red man" were offensive and out of date.
- The line "when black will not be asked to get in back" didn't sit well with them because Obama's black and had just swore in as The President of the United States. How much farther ahead can you get?
- He didn't like that it ended with praying for "white to embrace what is right".
- Some listeners didn't like that he was making a joke during a prayer
Then there’s the whole “it was racist, he said red man and yellow” argument. Flippant yes, but he was hardly being racist. It would have been one thing if he started going off about “the gooks” or “the feather heads” or something like that. But to me, what he was really talking about was that he hopes people of all colors (and yes we do have different colored skin, it’s ok to say out loud) will work together and put our differences behind us. It wasn’t hate speech and if it was I think it was the most adorable hate speech I’ve ever heard and that the Klan really need to get a new P.R. person. That might be a little difficult because I’m pretty sure the Klan hates Jews as much as black people.
Finally it seemed like the two lines that really got under Charlie Sykes skin were “we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back” and “when white will embrace what is right.”
“Did anybody point out to the Reverend Joseph Lowery ‘um would you turn around here? The President of the United States is black…Hello we’re kind of here.’” Mr. Sykes asked his audience. “No one else has to do what’s right? Just white has to do what’s right. Really?”
I think I can respond to those to statements two ways. Firstly, the idea that now that Obama is president racism is over and everything is right in the world is both a gross oversimplification of race relations and completely stupid. We’re no way near the end racism. Any race. The fact that an African-American was elected president is a big deal and a great sign of the progress we’ve made in what is a relatively short period of time. But it’s going to be years, I’m talking centuries and generations before everyone is really on an equal playing field. It’s human nature to classify things and notice differences. And we’re probably going to keep doing this until we’re in the Gene Roddenberry days of Star Trek where we’re exploring other planets and meeting other species. Who we’re probably going to be racist towards. Speciest? Like I said, it’s human nature.
And finally, and I specifically left this point for last, it’s a rhyme. He was doing a little poem and I don’t mean to insult but this is elementary school, Dr. Seuss level material. Reverend Joseph Lowery wanted “white to embrace what is right” because it rhymed. He wasn’t calling out for the white man to get his shit together, he was being cute. I think, there’s a possibly, that Charlie Sykes wasn’t so mad at what was said at the inauguration but at who was being inaugurated. And no, I don’t think he dislikes Obama because he’s black. He doesn’t like him because he’s a liberal, which is fine. Disliking a person because of their political views as supposed to the color of their skin is actually exactly what Dr. King was preaching about all those years ago. So color me racist, but I’ve got to agree with the rest of “the liberals” who thought it was the best part of the entire inauguration.
Friday, January 16, 2009
W.W.M.D.?
Today my good friend Moose leaves for Afghanistan. That’s not entirely accurate, first he has to go to Madison, then to Texas and from there he’ll be leaving for Afghanistan. Regardless it’s going to be about four hundred days until I see him again which just seems strange. I’ve known a couple of guys from high school that have gone over for the Army but Moose is the first that I’m actually still friends with to go. Moose was one of the first people I met when I came to college all those many, many years ago. He was part of the frat and guys like him and Mat Brunell are the reason I joined and stuck around.
The thing about Moose is that he is absolutely the most approachable guy I’ve ever met. Anyone can talk to him at anytime about any subject. And while a couple people at the round bar may not have always appreciated hearing him talk I always looked forward to our conversations. He was also the definition of a good friend anytime I needed a place to stay after having a few too many his place was always open, whether he was home or not. I could go on and on about what a good guy he his but I think actions speak louder than words so instead I’ll just tell a story about one of the many great things he’s done for me.
March last year I told my friend Sarah that I was going to try a stand up comedy routine I’d written awhile back at Comedy Sportz and I wanted to know if she wanted to come and see it. She was excited and told Moose what she was doing.
“Dude, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” he asked me.
“I didn’t want to mention it to too many people, I don’t know if it’s any good yet.” I told him, which was true.
“You’re hysterical, you’ll do fine. I want to go to this.” He’s always been very supportive of me. I told him what time it was and that he was more than welcome to come. That’s not what makes this story worth noting. The reason I bring it up is because of what happened the next day before I went to Comedy Sportz. I got a text from a co-worker of mine name Maureen.
“I hear you doing stand up tonight, good luck,” it read. This really surprised me, not least of all because Maureen was going to school in Philadelphia at the time.
“How did you hear about that?” I asked her.
“Moose put it up on Facebook,” she wrote back. What? I immediately went over to school and got to the first computer I could find to sign on to Facebook. Sure enough, there it was. Moose had created an even, “Come See Scotty Do Stand Up At Comedy Sportz”. I couldn’t believe it; I had only intended to have one friend see it just for a little support, now it looked like at least twelve people were coming to see this thing. Twelve quickly turned into at least fifteen, which doesn’t sound like a lot but it sure seemed like I had the biggest crowed there.
The M.C. of the night noticed too. It wasn’t certain I was going to get up there that night but Moose talked to the guy in charged and told him how many people had paid to come out to see me and when the guy saw how many people were there he made sure I got on. Moose was then kind enough to tape my performance and post it on YouTube. If Moose hadn’t created that event page I might not have ever made it up there and I owe him more than he knows for that.
But enough waxing sentimental about the big guy, Moose wouldn’t want that. After all “W.W.M.D.?” stands for “What would Moose do?” (A phrase he coined himself). And I’m sure Moose wouldn’t want me feeling sad or worried for him, after all he’s going to be cooking for generals while he’s over there. What a great opportunity. Instead, I’m sure what he’d want us to head out to the bars have a few beers in a toast to him and then focus far more attention on the hotties at the table over there. And that’s exactly what I plan to do. Good luck Moose, we’ll all be thinking about you and they’ll be plenty of beers for you on us when you get back.
Feel free to talk about what Moose has done for you in the comments below. Whether it’s telling you not to be dumb (Will), cooked you dinner (Brunell), or sexed you up real good (half the Rhos) he’s known a lot of people, have at it.
The thing about Moose is that he is absolutely the most approachable guy I’ve ever met. Anyone can talk to him at anytime about any subject. And while a couple people at the round bar may not have always appreciated hearing him talk I always looked forward to our conversations. He was also the definition of a good friend anytime I needed a place to stay after having a few too many his place was always open, whether he was home or not. I could go on and on about what a good guy he his but I think actions speak louder than words so instead I’ll just tell a story about one of the many great things he’s done for me.
March last year I told my friend Sarah that I was going to try a stand up comedy routine I’d written awhile back at Comedy Sportz and I wanted to know if she wanted to come and see it. She was excited and told Moose what she was doing.
“Dude, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” he asked me.
“I didn’t want to mention it to too many people, I don’t know if it’s any good yet.” I told him, which was true.
“You’re hysterical, you’ll do fine. I want to go to this.” He’s always been very supportive of me. I told him what time it was and that he was more than welcome to come. That’s not what makes this story worth noting. The reason I bring it up is because of what happened the next day before I went to Comedy Sportz. I got a text from a co-worker of mine name Maureen.
“I hear you doing stand up tonight, good luck,” it read. This really surprised me, not least of all because Maureen was going to school in Philadelphia at the time.
“How did you hear about that?” I asked her.
“Moose put it up on Facebook,” she wrote back. What? I immediately went over to school and got to the first computer I could find to sign on to Facebook. Sure enough, there it was. Moose had created an even, “Come See Scotty Do Stand Up At Comedy Sportz”. I couldn’t believe it; I had only intended to have one friend see it just for a little support, now it looked like at least twelve people were coming to see this thing. Twelve quickly turned into at least fifteen, which doesn’t sound like a lot but it sure seemed like I had the biggest crowed there.
The M.C. of the night noticed too. It wasn’t certain I was going to get up there that night but Moose talked to the guy in charged and told him how many people had paid to come out to see me and when the guy saw how many people were there he made sure I got on. Moose was then kind enough to tape my performance and post it on YouTube. If Moose hadn’t created that event page I might not have ever made it up there and I owe him more than he knows for that.
But enough waxing sentimental about the big guy, Moose wouldn’t want that. After all “W.W.M.D.?” stands for “What would Moose do?” (A phrase he coined himself). And I’m sure Moose wouldn’t want me feeling sad or worried for him, after all he’s going to be cooking for generals while he’s over there. What a great opportunity. Instead, I’m sure what he’d want us to head out to the bars have a few beers in a toast to him and then focus far more attention on the hotties at the table over there. And that’s exactly what I plan to do. Good luck Moose, we’ll all be thinking about you and they’ll be plenty of beers for you on us when you get back.
Feel free to talk about what Moose has done for you in the comments below. Whether it’s telling you not to be dumb (Will), cooked you dinner (Brunell), or sexed you up real good (half the Rhos) he’s known a lot of people, have at it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
On 24
It’s back! Life makes sense again because Jack Bauer is running around a city screaming at people and holding them at gunpoint. Yes I am a 24 fan; I have been ever since the first season. It’s funny I went back and watched the first season again last year and I was surprised how well it held up. They really created a compelling story and some great characters to tell it with and in the center they put Kiefer Sutherland as super-agent Jack Bauer. Television changed because of this show, if it wasn’t for 24, shows like Lost and Heroes wouldn’t exist. It was one of the first shows to create a season long story line that required the viewer to tune in every week and keep up with what was going on. The only other show that really demanded that kind of devotion that I can think of is Twin Peaks and that was full of David Lynch weirdness so it really was it’s own thing.
I’m looking forward to this season; it’s been long coming. Due to the writers strike last year, and Sutherlands arrest for drunk driving they had to postpone the season for almost a year. This gave the writers a chance to really work out the episodes and see what needed fixing which is a good thing because as much as I like the show I have no problem saying season six sucked. Which was really disheartening because season five wasn’t only the best season of 24 but possibly one of the best seasons of television I’ve ever seen for any show. The suspense really held on to me and the twists and turns the show always takes all worked. Season six seemed like they were just trying to do season five over but bigger. More explosions, more secret villains, more crazy deaths. It’s started out ok but quickly lost steam, it’s why the main bad guys died about two thirds through the season and suddenly a new story began, you could just feel the writers going “I’ve got nothing.” So like I said, I’m hoping for the best because the show really can be great at times.
One of the things I like about the show is some of the issues it raises. Namely, homeland security and the price we’re willing to pay for it. The 24 universes isn’t exactly one I’d like to live in. There seems to be national tragedies every few years in it. So far in the show, three presidents have been assassinated, two while on the job, one after his term was up. A different president turned out to be evil. An entire hotel and its guests and staff were infected with a deadly virus. And a federal building, C.T.U. or Counter Terrorist Unit, where Jack works, has been infiltrated on three separate occasions (that actually got a little old). Despite all this doom and gloom Jack’s always stopped the really bad things from happening. Season one’s story line was about C.T.U. trying to stop the attempted assassination of the front-runner for the Democratic nomination (who happened to be black). In the season when the entire hotel ended up dyeing, Jack stopped the virus from getting into the water system.
In stopping these doomsday scenarios Jack always has to torture and kill people to get what he wants. He also has to make impossible choices that tend to mean sacrificing innocent lives. The best example of this is in season four when he forced doctors to mend the wounds of a terrorist so he could be questioned. In doing so it meant not treating an innocent man that had been shot, the man died. The man also happened to be the ex-husband of the woman Jack was dating at the time, who was in the room when Jack held the doctors at gunpoint. Understandably, she was upset. What’s great is that while Jack’s never apologized for the choices he makes from season to season you can see the toll it’s taken on him. When the show began he had a house in the suburbs with a wife and daughter, the last time we saw him he was living in Africa just trying to get away from the life he once lived. It’s pretty fascinating stuff.
So I’m going to try to throw my two cents in on each episode this season. Word of warning, I’ll be mentioning surprises so if you’re a fan of 24 but haven’t seen the episode I’m talking about I’d wait to after you watch it to read what I’ve written. Ok well time to get cracking, I’ve got the first four episodes waiting for me; I’ll let you know what I think.
I’m looking forward to this season; it’s been long coming. Due to the writers strike last year, and Sutherlands arrest for drunk driving they had to postpone the season for almost a year. This gave the writers a chance to really work out the episodes and see what needed fixing which is a good thing because as much as I like the show I have no problem saying season six sucked. Which was really disheartening because season five wasn’t only the best season of 24 but possibly one of the best seasons of television I’ve ever seen for any show. The suspense really held on to me and the twists and turns the show always takes all worked. Season six seemed like they were just trying to do season five over but bigger. More explosions, more secret villains, more crazy deaths. It’s started out ok but quickly lost steam, it’s why the main bad guys died about two thirds through the season and suddenly a new story began, you could just feel the writers going “I’ve got nothing.” So like I said, I’m hoping for the best because the show really can be great at times.
One of the things I like about the show is some of the issues it raises. Namely, homeland security and the price we’re willing to pay for it. The 24 universes isn’t exactly one I’d like to live in. There seems to be national tragedies every few years in it. So far in the show, three presidents have been assassinated, two while on the job, one after his term was up. A different president turned out to be evil. An entire hotel and its guests and staff were infected with a deadly virus. And a federal building, C.T.U. or Counter Terrorist Unit, where Jack works, has been infiltrated on three separate occasions (that actually got a little old). Despite all this doom and gloom Jack’s always stopped the really bad things from happening. Season one’s story line was about C.T.U. trying to stop the attempted assassination of the front-runner for the Democratic nomination (who happened to be black). In the season when the entire hotel ended up dyeing, Jack stopped the virus from getting into the water system.
In stopping these doomsday scenarios Jack always has to torture and kill people to get what he wants. He also has to make impossible choices that tend to mean sacrificing innocent lives. The best example of this is in season four when he forced doctors to mend the wounds of a terrorist so he could be questioned. In doing so it meant not treating an innocent man that had been shot, the man died. The man also happened to be the ex-husband of the woman Jack was dating at the time, who was in the room when Jack held the doctors at gunpoint. Understandably, she was upset. What’s great is that while Jack’s never apologized for the choices he makes from season to season you can see the toll it’s taken on him. When the show began he had a house in the suburbs with a wife and daughter, the last time we saw him he was living in Africa just trying to get away from the life he once lived. It’s pretty fascinating stuff.
So I’m going to try to throw my two cents in on each episode this season. Word of warning, I’ll be mentioning surprises so if you’re a fan of 24 but haven’t seen the episode I’m talking about I’d wait to after you watch it to read what I’ve written. Ok well time to get cracking, I’ve got the first four episodes waiting for me; I’ll let you know what I think.
Monday, January 12, 2009
2008 A Year In Review
Damn did I fall off the blog bandwagon or what? It’s been over a month now. Part of the reason was that December was one hell of a busy month at Saz’s. Economy be damned people were going to celebrate Christmas in style, which was certainly nice for my paycheck. But now I’m on the other side of the coin so to speak. January is always slow at Saz’s but this year seems particularly light. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that last year around this time there was a fire at Saz’s so we got a lot of hours setting up the new operation. No such luck this year, at least not yet. But my bank account’s loss is my blog’s gain and now that I have more time on my hands I figure it’s time get back on the horse and start typing.
And I’ll be typing on a brand new computer too! Sort of. Last June I bought a MacBook and I love it. The only problem, and it was a major problem, was the fact that I didn’t have the internet at my place in Milwaukee. I figured since I was moving out in a little over a month it wasn’t worth getting it. I’m also a king procrastinator (http://ohscotty.blogspot.com/2008/08/king-of-procrastination.html) so it took me about five months until I buckled down and figured out how to set up wireless internet at my house. I’m not very technologically savvy, so buckling down for me meant calling my friend Jeremy and saying, “please do this, beer and food will be provided”. He did and it was. Fuck Geek Squad, I’ve got Phi Sig.
So now I’m in my room in a little office space I’ve made for myself typing my first blog of the new year with no outside distractions.
(It’s at this point, 5:35, that Scott leaves his rooms to go to BW3’s with some frat guys. He returns at 9:45 knowing that he only has fifteen minutes until The Daily Show starts.)
Stupid outside distractions.
I have to say I like Macs. Now that might not mean much coming from someone as technologically ignorant as I am but I have my reasons.
So for better or worse I’m a Mac guy and so far I have no complaints. But enough of how I’m blogging and on to the actual blog in question. 2008, it was quite the year for me. It had it’s fair share of both highs and lows and I figure the best way to start the new year is to look back at the old and see what I’ve learned. Join me won’t you?
January
Well, there you go. A year in review. What have I learned? Well for starters I learned that living a year is a lot more interesting than writing about it (or reading it I imagine). I’ve learned that I have some amazing friends that I can truly count on for anything and I hope they feel the same way about me. But most importantly I’ve learned that I’ve made some mistakes and that’s ok. The important thing isn’t dwelling on them but figuring out how to pick yourself up and making yourself a better person because of them. The past is past but the future is whatever you make it. Here’s hoping I make 2009 something great.
And I’ll be typing on a brand new computer too! Sort of. Last June I bought a MacBook and I love it. The only problem, and it was a major problem, was the fact that I didn’t have the internet at my place in Milwaukee. I figured since I was moving out in a little over a month it wasn’t worth getting it. I’m also a king procrastinator (http://ohscotty.blogspot.com/2008/08/king-of-procrastination.html) so it took me about five months until I buckled down and figured out how to set up wireless internet at my house. I’m not very technologically savvy, so buckling down for me meant calling my friend Jeremy and saying, “please do this, beer and food will be provided”. He did and it was. Fuck Geek Squad, I’ve got Phi Sig.
So now I’m in my room in a little office space I’ve made for myself typing my first blog of the new year with no outside distractions.
(It’s at this point, 5:35, that Scott leaves his rooms to go to BW3’s with some frat guys. He returns at 9:45 knowing that he only has fifteen minutes until The Daily Show starts.)
Stupid outside distractions.
I have to say I like Macs. Now that might not mean much coming from someone as technologically ignorant as I am but I have my reasons.
- I like the feel of the keyboard. Maybe not the best reason to buy a computer but when writing is the major use of your computer you should go with something you like.
- I wanted something that would last. I don’t see myself buying another computer anytime soon so I wanted something that would last a good ten years or so, from what I’ve heard Macs will do the trick.
- I love those “I’m a Mac. I’m a P.C.” ads. A horrible reason to make any purchase admittedly but what can I say? I’m a sucker for a good campaign. And in a capitalist society it’s just as important how you sell a product as what product you’re selling.
So for better or worse I’m a Mac guy and so far I have no complaints. But enough of how I’m blogging and on to the actual blog in question. 2008, it was quite the year for me. It had it’s fair share of both highs and lows and I figure the best way to start the new year is to look back at the old and see what I’ve learned. Join me won’t you?
January
- Well the new year started off with a blast. Let’s see, I lost my really nice Pea coat and had to go pick up my ex-girlfriend from some guy’s house after she had an equally bad start to her new year. And that was all before noon on January 1st.
- My parents decided that they were done paying for me to do bad at college (a choice I don’t really blame them for) and I had to get my first student loan, I’m sure I’ll fill out all those forms correctly and it won’t cause any problems in the future.
- I get the $600 back that my old roommate, Jake Smith, owes me. That leads us to…
- New Roommate #1-Justin (Krueger?) He took Jake’s room. He was a good guy. We didn’t talk all that much because he was far more focused on school than I was but when we did we always got along.
- A fire breaks out at Saz’s and I work much more than originally planned because we have to move the entire warehouse over to the Stat Fair grounds.
- I perform in the first show that I ever wrote; a one-page play entitled “Friendship is a Four-Letter-Word”. I owe a big thank you to my co-star Tracy Doyle who stepped up when the original actress, Megan Palbicki, completely bailed on me.
- A girl named Sarah Emerson keeps coming to our house parties and is entertained by the way I try to remember music.
- This Sarah girl takes me and some other friends out for Valentines Day to the most romantic spot possible, a lesbian bar. I meet girls but don’t sleep with them. I realize that lesbian bars are exactly the same as regular bars.
- I get cast as LT. Jack McCoy in a performance of the show The Crazy Quilt Club.
- I get caught speeding and receive my first speeding ticket ever! How embarrassing. It’s the worst mark on my driving record ever until…
- I drink. I drive. I get caught. Sarah picks me up from a police department and in a month I’ll have to go six months with out a regular driver’s license. There’s a longer story there but it’s for another post.
- I decide to try out a new stand up routine I’ve written at Comedy Sportz open mike night. I find out I have way more friends than I ever imagined and they seem to think I’m funny. (If you’re interested in seeing this video go to YouTube and type in “Scott Heaton Stand up”.
- I buy THE WEST WING the complete series. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal but it turns out to be one of my favorite shows of all time which was lucky because I’d only seen one episode of the show before purchasing the entire set. (I was depressed because of the D.U.I. and wanted to distract myself with something, anything.) I decide I want to write like Aaron Sorkin, which is kind of like saying, “I want to act like Johnny Depp.”
- My other roommate, Steve, moves out because living with me is too stressful. He moves in with his girlfriend instead which I’m sure was much more relaxing for him. (Sorry, mean joke) That leads me to…
- New Roommate #2- Brian (I don’t remember his last name). We get along even better than Justin and I did. He’s thrilled with my movie collection and everyday when I came home from class he was watching a different movie I owned and I would watch the end with him. He also loved SEINFELD, and watched my entire set at an alarmingly fast rate. Justin and Brian are actually old friends and I find it interesting, and more than a little ironic that I got along much better with two strangers than I did with the two people I originally started living with whom I’ve known for a while.
- I perform in THE CRAZY QUILT CLUB, some of my friends like it, some don’t. I was just happy that I finally did a show that my Grandma could come see.
- Bill pisses on my couch and quilt, doesn’t clean up after himself. Andy Dupree coins the brilliant phrase “How come everyone pees on you and all your stuff?”
- I lose my regular license and instead receive a occupational license and find out just how long a time six months can actually be.
- I find out that both Justin and Brian will be leaving at the end of the month but have still agreed to pay rent for the two months they won’t be living there.
- I turn 24, I have very little to show for it.
- I once again don’t get promoted at Saz’s.
- I go to a midnight screening of THE INCREDIBLE HULK and get very drunk. Good times.
- I buy a Mac but decide not to use it very much until January.
- New Roommate #3- Bill (Decaire) The couch pisser himself needs a place to stay for a month I let him stay at my place but only after insisting that he pay for a month’s rent instead of just taking Justin’s money. I find out Bill loves THE WEST WING as much as I do.
- I go to a midnight screening of THE DARK NIGHT (sober this time), best movie of the year!
- I move out of Milwaukee…
- …And back to Germantown. This makes going to work more difficult because I can only drive in my occupational hours and when I lived in Milwaukee I could take the bus. Long story short, I hung out at the mall a lot.
- I take a vacation and visit my friend Lauren up at her cabin. She makes me chug a can of beans (also available on YouTube.)
- I start a blog making a goal to update it daily. I fail miserably.
- School starts again but I’m not going. I messed up on my loans from January and never paid for the early semester. Before they let me back I have to pay them for last time.
- I spent time on Jaz’s porch and Molly ordered a pizza, end of story.
- I get my full licenses back. The first place I go to is a bar (my friends are dicks), I decided soda taste just as good as beer.
- I go as Bristol Palin for Halloween, Will doesn’t laugh, which means it’s the funniest costume ever.
- I decide I’m not quite big enough of a geek yet so I drive to Chicago so I can see THE DARK KNIGHT on the IMAX. It’s amazing!
- My dog Samantha has to be put down, I still find myself wanting to give her slices of ham when I make a sandwich.
- Sarah and her boyfriend break-up at eleven o’clock at night. I find myself in a Chicago hotel room at three in the morning with a guy named “Phil” who’s not going to let a small thing like a complete stranger in the same bed as him stop him from getting laid. It’s my favorite night of 2008 (seriously).
- I sign up for classes for next semester and decide now’s as good a time as any to actually put an effort in to school.
- I attend my friend Jennifer’s wedding. She looked absolutely beautiful.
- Will, Amber, Kate and I go out for New Years, I don’t know how it ends.
Well, there you go. A year in review. What have I learned? Well for starters I learned that living a year is a lot more interesting than writing about it (or reading it I imagine). I’ve learned that I have some amazing friends that I can truly count on for anything and I hope they feel the same way about me. But most importantly I’ve learned that I’ve made some mistakes and that’s ok. The important thing isn’t dwelling on them but figuring out how to pick yourself up and making yourself a better person because of them. The past is past but the future is whatever you make it. Here’s hoping I make 2009 something great.
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