Ok, I suck

Only four post in September and five in August? That's not pretty piss poor if you ask me, and nobody did because nobody's probably reading this freaking thing anymore. Not that I could blame them. I'll really try to do better in October. I swear.
If I may say one more thing I’d like to inform you about the funniest new show this season. It’s called Worst Week and it’s on CBS. It really could have been called Oh Scotty: The Show. It’s about a nice guy named Sam who can’t go ten seconds without screwing something up. He recreantly got his girlfriend pregnant and now he has to tell her parents. The name of the show comes into play because each episode takes place over the course of one day after seven episodes the story will move on to a different week with the same characters I think. It definitely has similarities to Meet The Parents (Sam’s fiancé’s family hates him, especially her dad played by the dad from That 70’s Show) but I think it funny enough to get over the comparison and gain its own identity. Check it out, Monday’s at 8:30 (central time) on CBS.



Finally here’s the season premier of The Office. Why? Because it’s great that’s why. Ryan’s return to the office and Dwight’s acknowledgement of the camera after leaving the warehouse in particular had me laughing out loud. I don’t know how they do it, but this show has managed to remain outstanding for four seasons now and it looks like the fifth one should be no exception. As much as I like 30 Rock I think this show should have won the best comedy Emmy because really, it’s in a league of its own.

Pizza Shuttle Kicks Ass!

So Saturday night I was catering over at the Renaissance Place which is right over on Prospect. I brought the food which meant I came to the party late. This sucked because it also meant I’d be staying at the party late. A little tip to all my soon to be married friends. Don’t get late night appetizers for you wedding. It’s a scam. A pretty solid scam, but a scam none the less. Basically the idea is that at about 10 your guests will be so hungry from all the dancing and booze that they’ll want to eat more snacks. In theory it makes sense, but it seems everyone is too distracted by the dancing and booze to notice the snacks are available. Whenever I stick around to clean up after a post aps party (as in “post-dinner appetizers) I find I’m brining back all but four of the sandwiches we put out. And two of them were eaten by me.
Well I had to do that on Saturday and then stick around with a guy I work with named Eric for two hours and wait for the party to end. But I hadn’t gotten any dinner that night, because it all got taken by the wait staff while I was loading the truck. So Erica and I walked to Pizza Shuttle. Yes, on the clock (there are a few reasons I’ve stuck around this low paying job for as long as I have). I’d only been to pizza once before and it was almost a year ago and I was pretty loaded that night if I remember. When we got there an old man in a greeters sash welcomed us and let us in. It was weird.
I couldn’t really see prices but I didn’t care I wanted a slice of pepperoni and a beer. And here’s the best part! The slice of pizza was huge and the beer came in a 24oz. cup. All for about $6.50. That’s hard to beat. Why haven’t I been there more often? I lived on the east side for two years but I feel like I totally missed this wonderful place. My friends and I never thought to go out to pizza shuttle and granted it’s more of a restaurant than a bar but dude! A giant slice of pepperoni and a 24 oz. beer, for $6.50. Don’t make the mistake I did current eastsiders. Get thee to Pizza shuttle today, you’ll be glad you did

ROLE MODELS Looks Extremely Gay

I love that fact that so many raunchy R-rated comedies are getting made. Ever since 2005 with the success of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and Wedding Crashers, and since America decided to make Judd Apatow and friends the current kings of comedy (good call by the way) I feel that comedies have just been getting better and better. Here’s the trailer for the new movie Role Models starting Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd, I’m a fan of both so it’s nice to see them get a staring role in a movie that should be a hit. It comes out a week after Kevin Smith’s new movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno, could be a good double feature.

Fox Can’t Tell A Good Show From A HOLE IN THE WALL

So I watched that show Fringe. I’d say I’m intrigued if not hooked. I’ll definitely tune in for the second episode but it doesn’t have my dying to know what happens next like the pilot episodes of Heroes, Alias, or Dexter (one for the best pilots I’ve ever seen by the way. That’s not to say that the show wasn’t without its charm. The opening was pretty cool. It had an entire plane get infected with some disease that’ll make your skin melt off. One of the characters get’s hit with a little bit of the disease and it turns all of his skin clear. Weird. And it ended with a pretty cool car chase that didn’t last quite long enough.
The main characters were interesting. There’s an F.B.I. agent named Olivia who we first meet knocking boots with a fellow agent named Jason. They talk about how they have to keep their affair a secret but it’s ok because he loves her. She doesn’t say anything in return. Later she explains the reason she failed to respond is because she’s had problems in the past but she truly does love him. Go ahead; guess how long Jason lasts after that. Spoiler Alert! Not long. I heard that sentence and pretty much knew it was a kiss of death. That’s ok though; the loss of Jason for Olivia is nothing a few seasons of “Will they? Won’t they?” sexual tension between her and Joshua Jackson’s character won’t solve. Which is obviously where they’re going with those two characters. You can tell but the glances they kept giving each other in the first episode. Joshua Jackson’s character, by the way, is a genius who’s on the run from some bookies he owes money to. Peter’s dad, Dr. Walter Bishop, is even smarter than him. In the mid-seventies he used to experiment on “fringe science” involving talking to the dead, and mind reading. Later he got locked up in the loony bin and Peter hasn’t talked to him since.
So in the first episode Olivia needs to talk to Dr. Bishop but the only way to do that is if she finds Peter because only a family member can visit people in the asylum. They work together as a team to find a cure for the skin melting disease but discover a bigger conspiracy may be afoot. One involving one of the largest cooperation in the country (which as we all know are evil) and thus sets off the adventure that will be Fringe. Not bad. All in all I’d give the first episode a solid B. They’ve got my attention. For now, we’ll see how the rest of the show plays out.
But that’s not the show that really got my attention. No, the show that I really want to talk about is a new game show that came on after Fringe called Hole in the Wall. Hole in the Wall is a game show that consists of a contestant standing in front of a pool as a giant Styrofoam wall comes rushing towards them. The only way for said contestant to avoid falling into the pool is by jumping through the hole in the wall. And…that’s it. Sometimes there’s one person trying to get through, sometimes there’s two or three. Oh and in the final round someone gets blindfolded and their teammates have to direct them through the hole. And I haven’t even mentioned the catchphrase yet. Before the wall comes out some talentless host declares, “It’s time, to face the hole!” Maybe I’m just twisted but that has to be one of the nastiest phrases I’ve heard in a long time.
This is what’s supposed to pass as quality television nowadays? This sucks. This is exactly what the show Studio 60 was about. How nowadays it seems like networks would rather appeal to the lowest common denominator than actually try to create something new and inspiring. I’m sure one episode of this show doesn’t cost a tenth of what it cost to make Fringe but so what. Just because you’re saving money doesn’t mean you’ve done something good. I found out that what I had seen of this show what just a “sneak peak”, the premiere episode is going to be an hour long. An hour. This is pretty much just FOX giving us the finger and saying “we absolutely believe that you as the viewing public having nothing better to do with your time then to watch people jump through holes for the next sixty minutes.” Shouldn’t that insult us?
And here’s my biggest question about this show, who do they expect to watch it? I mean honestly to they really think anybody is going to say “Oh my god it’s seven o’clock! Time for Hole in the Wall!” Or that people are going to be talking with excitement about last night’s episode? To me television is supposed to something that millions of people can watch for free and then discuss the next day. I remember everyone was talking when Ross said Rachel’s name at his wedding on Friends. Or when there was a shooting but nobody knew who got shot on The West Wing. Or when Gossip Girl gossiped about a girl on Gossip Girl. Ok I’ve never actually seen that last show but from what I hear it’s pretty intriguing. The point is if we only watch shows that provide mindless entertainment and don’t try to make you think just a little, pretty soon the way of the scripted show is going to be extinct. Genius shows like The Office, and My Name is Earl won’t have a chance because they’re too expensive and no everyone “gets” it. So I posted a video of Hole in the Wall at the top of this entry. Look at it. If that’s all you want from TV then by all means watch. Otherwise let’s pretend like this “hole thing” (get it!) never happened.

Daily Thoughts My Ass!

What a joke! Who the hell is running this blog? Oh crap. Sorry about that it’s been a busy week. If it makes any of you feel any better I have been doing some writing.
I’ve decided to give writing a shot. Professional writing. And while that career choice seems about as practical as actor or professional comedian no one has ever accused me of being the most practical person on the planet.
In mid May I started writing a play called Survivor’s Guilt about a soldier that dies in Iraq and a friend who get’s left behind and now has to deal with his loss. This week I finally finished it. At least the first draft of it. I went to my friend E’s coffee shop known as Caribou Coffee (STARBUCKS SUCKS!) and just typed away. But like I said, it’s only a first draft. I’m going to take some time off now before I go back to it so I can kind of get a fresh perspective on it. In the mean time there’s a 10-page play contest that I heard about in Louisiana that I’m going to submit a play to. The only problem is I haven’t written a 10-page play. That’s ok I have two months, so I should probably get cracking on that. Anyways I’ll try to do better on keeping this thing updated on a day to day basis but as I’ve previously stated I’m great at procrastinating.
But enough about me let’s get to the part you all (oh, who am I kidding Steve’s the only one reading this thing thanks man, tell your friends) came for. My take on pop culture! Well, in my last post I said I was going to watch an episode or two of Heroes second season and tell you about them. That didn’t quite work. You see on Sunday, August 31st I didn’t just watch a couple of episodes of Heroes, I watched all the episodes of Heroes. Who the hell didn’t like that season? I thought it was great. Not perfect, but better than more than half the other crap that’s on TV. Sure Hiro spent too much time in ancient Japan, but that ended up paying off big in when they revealed who the main villain was for the season. And I thought the cliff hanger was great. (Sylar’s back!) So I can’t wait for season three to start it’s looking like it’s going to be good.
Also there’s a new show I’ve deiced to give a try, Fringe. I don’t know much about what it’s about but I do know who it’s from- J.J. motherfuckin’ Abrams. The motherfuckin’s not actually part of his legal name but I think he should think about adding it. I’ve been a fan of almost everything this guy has done. Alias, Mission: Impossible III (far and away the best in the series), Lost. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Cloverfield, which he produced but I admired its ambition. I bought the giant monster in New York I just didn’t buy that anyone would keep their camera rolling the entire time these things were happening. I also wished it was longer. With better characters. And maybe a little more of a plot. The end was kind of abrupt too. And we never really got a good look at the monster.
Ok Cloverfield sucked but everything else he’s done has been gold. Besides this is the man that brought Jennifer Garner to the masses. He deserves not only our forgiveness but our eternal gratitude. The first show he created was Felicity which I’ve never seen but I’m almost tempted to go back and watch just to see if it’s as good as anything else he’s done. Here’s the preview for Fringe.



Damn, look at that thing! Seems like some pretty good special effects for a TV show. I’m also excited about this because I always seem to miss the ground floor when it comes to hit TV shows. Dramas in particular. House, Battle Star Galactica, Rescue Me. All shows that are very popular but I’ve never seen. Well now with this and Heroes and 24 coming back I feel like I’m finally in the mix with some good hour longs along with comedy. NBC’s Thursday night line up, by the way, is still the best night of network comedy bar none. So I’ll let you know what I think. Will it be the next X-Files or simply another Conrad Bloom Until then, have a good one.
One last thing. I think we call all agree that Old Spice is putting out some of the funniest commercials nowadays. This one is my favorite, love that whistled theme at the end.