There’s a phrase that’s gets thrown around a lot at work. It’s “Oh Scotty”. I can thank Ed McIntosh for that. And while it may have been uttered before I started working at Saz’s it seems after I started working there I heard it all the time. What is an “Oh Scotty”? It’s complicated. Some people think it’s when something bad happens but there’s more to it than that. It usually has to happen to you (or me as it usually is) due to very little fault of your own. It also has to be not just bad but ironically bad. And funny, Oh Scottys (Oh Scotties?) are consistently funny. And you have to say it right. No one says is like Ed. Something bad happens, oh say a waitress at the first party you’re running by yourself goes bat shit crazy and starts yelling at the wedding guest over the microphone. When you come back to the warehouse Ed will inevitably be waiting there with a look on his face. The look will be a mixture of shock, sympathy, and thinking that something just hilarious happened. He’ll be at a loss for words, look down to the ground and say “Oooooooh Scotty”. I’ve heard it more then once.
I’m proud to say there hasn’t been that many “Oh Scotty” moments happen to me at work lately and I’m sure saying that is just poking the eye of fate with a stick. That’s not to say there haven’t been “Oh Scotty” moments in my life, just none that were Saz related. But lately I’ve noticed that sometimes the moments don’t happen to me, they happen around me. Let me give you an example.
My friend Sarah works at Caribou Coffee. I’ve been to a couple of Starbucks but none of them have made me want to be a coffee drinker, Caribou does. I love that place and I love hanging out with E there. One day when I showed up I started flirting with one of her co-workers. She seemed nice and she was good looking enough. Then I found out a little more about her. Like the fact that she was still in High School, and only seventeen. “Oh Scotty.” Well I quickly erased any thoughts I might have had in my head because that’s simply a tight rope act that I don’t want to walk.
And before I continue I’d like to defend myself for a second. I’ve been getting a lot of shit at work lately for hitting on underage girls. I’d just like to point out once again that when I heard she was seventeen I quickly backed out. I’d also like to mention that this girl is incredibly intelligent. The three colleges she’s looking at are Notre Dame, M.I.T., and Harvard. Her back up school is UW-Madison so it’s not like we were just talking about HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL or The Jonas brothers or whatever the hell it is high school girls talk about. I didn’t know when I was in high school and I sure as hell don’t know now.
Anyways, a couple of days ago I was talking to Sarah and she really wanted to tell me a story. One night when she was working at Caribou it was just her and seventeen year old (I’m not mentioning her name). They got to talking and Sarah asked 17 if she had a boyfriend. 17 told Sarah that she did but it was complicated. Seeing as Sarah was going through some complications of her own when it came to relationships she was curious as to how a seventeen year old could possibly be in a complicated relationship.
“Well, he’s twenty-six.” 17 responded. I’m going to go ahead and give you a second to let that soak in. Twenty-six! After I got over the same “ewww” factor that you hopefully had I started to think.
“Wow, so I guess we both had the same problem with each other” I half joked to Sarah. But it’s true. Not only was she too young for me but I was too young for her. Oh Scotty.
“This could only happen to you.” Sarah said. I was a bit confused. Nothing had actually happened to me. “If anyone else had met 17 and liked her she would have ended up dating some other seventeen year old in her class but because it’s you of course not only is she dating an older guy she dating one that’s even older than you.” Oh my God, she was right. And it didn’t even stop there. This guy wasn’t just older than me; he was an older version than me. He hadn’t finished college (check), he lived with his parents (check), and he worked a dead end job (check). His may have been in a book store and mine at a catering company but it’s pretty much the same thing.
So watch your backs people. I have no idea how this power works or who it can or can’t effect. And while it certainly makes life more interesting there are definitely days I’d much rather be boring. Of course if I were boring I never would have made it to Chicago…
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Liberal Bias My Ass!
Don’t we live in the electronic age? Isn’t that like the thing? Paper is almost obsolete and pretty soon the only thing we’ll be getting in the mail is junk mail, magazine subscriptions, and Netflix movies, right? So then why the hell did I have to drive down to UWM the other day to hand in a piece of paper?
I went to reapply for classes for next semester and was told by my advisor that I had to print out an application and turn it into Mitchell Hall. I went to the sight and looked on-line for an electronic version of the application but one didn’t seem to exist. It seemed weird because the questions I had to answer were pretty basic. Name, address, social security number, etc. it took about ten minutes. But then I had to drive all the way from Germantown to UWM to hand in the form. I figured after I did this there’s be some other things I had to do although I’m not really sure what those things would be. I was wrong. The receptionist took the application, looked at me and informed me I’d be receiving an e-mail in one to two weeks.
Now one of the oldest complaints by conservatives is that college is nothing but a liberal breeding ground. That the staff does nothing but fill the students head with liberal propaganda about how corporations are bad and that Americans should be ashamed for being Americans. I don’t have much to say on that particular argument other than that, for the most part, I’ve found most part my professors to be pretty apolitical when it comes to what they teach. And while I’m sure Will get list plenty of reasons why I’m wrong (please don’t) I still don’t really think my political views have ever been shaped by anything my professors have said. Part of that has to do with rarely listening to anything my professors have said but I digress.
The point I’m trying to make is that if colleges are so liberal shouldn’t that mean their going green? And if their going green shouldn’t it mean that things can be done online instead of in person? Think of all the natural recourses wasted on me driving to UWM. The trees it took to make the paper for the form I filled out. It printed out three pieces of paper, two of which were instructions of filling out the form, one was the actual form. I think I could have figured it out on my own. Then there was the gas going to and from campus. But I wouldn’t be so upset if UWM hadn’t wasted the most valuable natural recourse of all-my fucking time! I mean what the hell? You made me drive all the way out there so I could hand someone a piece of paper and then turn around and drive back? Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to find parking on the east side? If I have to meet with people I’d like our time together to be timed in minutes not seconds. I know this blog is really more of a bitching fest than actual thoughts but damn it I hate driving in this weather. So maybe it's time UWM start doing things electroniclly. If only so that I won't ever have to write another lame ass blog like this again.
I went to reapply for classes for next semester and was told by my advisor that I had to print out an application and turn it into Mitchell Hall. I went to the sight and looked on-line for an electronic version of the application but one didn’t seem to exist. It seemed weird because the questions I had to answer were pretty basic. Name, address, social security number, etc. it took about ten minutes. But then I had to drive all the way from Germantown to UWM to hand in the form. I figured after I did this there’s be some other things I had to do although I’m not really sure what those things would be. I was wrong. The receptionist took the application, looked at me and informed me I’d be receiving an e-mail in one to two weeks.
Now one of the oldest complaints by conservatives is that college is nothing but a liberal breeding ground. That the staff does nothing but fill the students head with liberal propaganda about how corporations are bad and that Americans should be ashamed for being Americans. I don’t have much to say on that particular argument other than that, for the most part, I’ve found most part my professors to be pretty apolitical when it comes to what they teach. And while I’m sure Will get list plenty of reasons why I’m wrong (please don’t) I still don’t really think my political views have ever been shaped by anything my professors have said. Part of that has to do with rarely listening to anything my professors have said but I digress.
The point I’m trying to make is that if colleges are so liberal shouldn’t that mean their going green? And if their going green shouldn’t it mean that things can be done online instead of in person? Think of all the natural recourses wasted on me driving to UWM. The trees it took to make the paper for the form I filled out. It printed out three pieces of paper, two of which were instructions of filling out the form, one was the actual form. I think I could have figured it out on my own. Then there was the gas going to and from campus. But I wouldn’t be so upset if UWM hadn’t wasted the most valuable natural recourse of all-my fucking time! I mean what the hell? You made me drive all the way out there so I could hand someone a piece of paper and then turn around and drive back? Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to find parking on the east side? If I have to meet with people I’d like our time together to be timed in minutes not seconds. I know this blog is really more of a bitching fest than actual thoughts but damn it I hate driving in this weather. So maybe it's time UWM start doing things electroniclly. If only so that I won't ever have to write another lame ass blog like this again.
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